Episode Transcript

What’s up? What’s up? What’s up, everybody? Welcome back to THE a.m guys, welcome back to five minute rants I’m your host, Michael Abernathy. And welcome back to the show predicated on the journey of life and business.

So today, I actually want to talk a bit more about leadership. And one of the things that I wanted to talk about was really not to be in a position to where you’re saving people. It’s interesting because oftentimes, as leaders, and when you’re in a position of leadership, you want to go through and save people. And it’s actually detrimental to the person that you’re trying to help and yourself. And the reason why is because people, people have agency in interdependency naturally, part of how we’re built and how the way that we operate and how we’re made. And when we try and save people, it breaks.

And the reason why is because when you’re saving somebody, their problems immediately become your problems. And all of a sudden, you become the solution to their life. And it breaks because as a person, we are the solution to our own lives, like I am the solution to my life, all my problems are my fault, because I have not solved them yet, nor have made the moves to remove them out of my life. And when I, as a leader start trying to save people, I take on all their problems, too. And I’m not actually the party responsible for solving those problems.

I think a huge point of leadership is to really tell people where to look. In other words, you’re guiding them, you’re not fixing them, you’re not telling them all the right answers. See, when we tell people the right answers, we’re replicating What happens in the school systems, which is there’s a removal of critical thinking there’s a removal observation and looking, there’s a removal of listening, and reflection. It’s just Oh, tell me the right answer. And this is how I get What I want out of life. And that’s actually not the best way to lead people, the best way to lead people is to point direction. And to teach people how to observe to teach people What they need to look at What areas in their life, they need to look at, to teach people to look to see the root cause of the problem they’re currently experiencing.

Oftentimes, people get lost. And I’ve gotten lost in looking at surface area, to where you’re looking at the problem just from the ground level. And you’re looking at for the very surface, but underneath, underneath everything, when you dig down, you find the root and actual cause of what’s going on. And I really believe that that is a huge job and leadership is to help point people in the direction on where to look how to look, and then how to make decisions based off the information that they have, and that they now have. And so it’s very interesting.

When we look we immediately go to judgment, which is like sentencing Oh, this good. This bad versus I’m just simply collecting data observation is really about collecting data like oh, it is sunny out today. It is warm out today, there are birds on my front porch that have been newly hatched and literally describing my front porch, my house, right? They are born birds, just been newly hatched. Oh, the bushes are now growing more and will need to be trimmed to the grass is greener. Okay? And then What am I going to do with all this information? Well, there’s no need for all this information currently. Right? So I don’t need to make decisions about but that’s just the simple, like art of observation, just looking and looking beyond looking just for looking sake, not going beyond it to then make decisions.

And that’s how you really lead people as you point and be like, Oh, look over here. Have you thought about this? Do you think about this, have you noticed these things, versus you are now the solution to all their problems. And when you become the solution to everybody else’s problems, your life gets incredibly busy, and becomes incredibly fruitless. And What I mean by that is, Your life does not produce the results that you’re actually looking to get out of oftentimes, when we are leading from that position, it’s actually ends up creating a toxic environment, culturally within the company, within our friendships, within relationships, when we operate from a place to fix to save people and to take on their problems. It is actually a it’s actually a doorway for toxicity to come in. And then everything to grow unhealthily.

And it’s interesting, because the best way to move forward in life and oftentimes we’re stuck is because we’re trying to actually fix other people save them. And we’re dealing with a lot of things that we shouldn’t rather than helping to be guides to point things out and then leaving up to the individual to choose or not. And this is so important, especially with an operating a team, especially with leading people, especially if you are just in a team you don’t have to be in any sort of authority position. To do this. This is just in general normal, healthy interactions with people.

So anyways guys, that’s it for today. and I’ll catch you later. Peace