Episode Transcript

Michael Abernathy 0:00
Hey what’s up? What’s up? What’s up everybody? Welcome back to THE a.m Welcome to Five Minute Rants. I’m your host, Michael Abernathy. And welcome to the show predicated on the journey of life and business. I’ve got a special guest with us here today. You can say hello.

Kira Abernathy 0:25
Hello

Michael Abernathy 0:27
Kyra Abernathy. My wife. You’ve heard me talk about her before all good things. I promise. I know you listen to this show.

Kira Abernathy 0:33
Thank you. I’m glad. I do. I love it.

Michael Abernathy 0:35
So everybody I asked you to come on the show, because we were talking about why it’s okay to ask for help. And I would actually like to let her talk about her experience with this.

Kira Abernathy 0:48
Oh, yeah, absolutely. So I’ve been an attorney for like, a decade now. Wow. And the first seven years of my attorney practice, you know, being a solo, I really thought, I am the attorney. I’ve got to do this myself. You know, Michael actually offered to help me a ton. And I was like, no, no, no, it’s okay. I know What I’m doing. I can do this. And lo and behold, it turns out, I had no idea What I was doing. I did not do this. And I literally ran my business into the ground for the first seven years. And at the end of seven years, I really had to wake up and say, Okay, I’ve done it the same way for seven years. And it’s gotten me literally nothing to show for it. Other than the Harvard degree and stupidity as Michael likes to say. But when I really humbled myself and said, You know What, Michael, you’re not an attorney. But you know, a lot more about business than I do, you know, a lot more about life than I do. Can you please help me? And I mean, you really did. And you helped me along with other people, Andrew and other people in my life that helped who are not attorneys, and then even some who were attorneys. And because of that, just the past two years, I mean, this is the best it’s ever been for business for life for the law firm. And I think, you know, I just want to say stand on my little soapbox and say it is okay to ask for help. You do not have to be the superhero in your business, even if it’s people that don’t “do the same things you do” actually, it’s better, right? Because you were able to show me and everyone else was able to show me a different perspective, and helped me not just keep doing the same things that kept me in my rut and actually ran my business to the ground.

Michael Abernathy 2:22
So What you’re saying is pride is pretty lethal but humility actually opens up the door to move forward.

Kira Abernathy 2:33
Yes, I think that is a great way to say that.

Michael Abernathy 2:37
What else would you add about that? What else would you add about asking for help?

Kira Abernathy 2:40
I mean, just even in little things in life, when I asked for help, I have never had someone say, I’m not going to help you, you know, who are you to ask for help? I really haven’t. People are like, wow, I really want to help wow you’re, you’re humble and you’re actually asking me for help. Like, I’ll ask younger lawyers for help, especially people who do things in fields. I don’t do. You know, they’ve only been out for a year or two. But they know more than I do. Hey, could you help me with this problem that my client has? And everyone is so kind that I’ve really, I mean, maybe I’ve just been, you know, lucky in that, but everyone’s really always willing and able to help. And then of course, I do the same if someone’s willing to help. I don’t mind talking to you for an hour. So just asking is, is really key in anything little things and the big things.

Michael Abernathy 3:26
I think no, I think that’s pretty true that I think people like to help. It feels good to help people. And I think it’s more personally a fear of, oh, no, I want to look bad, like people don’t ask for help, because we don’t want to look bad. I mean, I don’t know talk about your side of things. What was your mindset before asking about things?

Kira Abernathy 3:45
I mean, definitely did not want to look bad, like, I just didn’t want to face the fact that it that when I looked at my life, it was not where I want it to be. And the closer I got to the seven years, the further away it looks from where I want it to be. And that was really hard. Because I had to I mean, had to come to you, my husband for more than seven years at the time, because we met when I was in law school and got married when I was in law school, you know, and be like, Hey, honey, this isn’t working. I am not doing well. And can you please help? I mean, that is hard to face that.

Michael Abernathy 4:18
It’s interesting, because it was hard for you to face but yet, like I knew the whole time, I’m married to you. I know when your life is on fire because my life’s on fire. And so it’s interesting, though, that whole trap of I don’t want to look bad, I don’t want to be wrong. And it seems to be pretty universal.

Kira Abernathy 4:37
Yeah. And I think you know, being a lawyer and needing to show and maybe this is for other people and other professions too, but I know in my profession, you have to look the part know the part be the expert know What to do. And I think that really, I let that hinder me I didn’t have to I allowed it to hinder me and not ask for help because like you said, didn’t want to look bad.

Michael Abernathy 4:58
That’s true. Well, I think that goes for any profession. I’m gonna run over. But I think that goes for any profession. Everybody wants to look the part but you’re already in it. You already are the part, I’m just saying that. Well, well guys, we’re out of time. Thanks for coming, Kira. Appreciate it.

Kira Abernathy 5:13
You’re Welcome. Thanks for having me.

Michael Abernathy 5:14
Thanks for sharing your time with us. And I’ll catch you guys later peace.