Ep. 286 – The Two Sides Of Self Improvement


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Episode Transcript

What’s up? What’s up? What’s up, everybody? Welcome back to THE a.m guys, welcome back to five minute rants. I’m your host, Michael Abernathy. And welcome back to the show predicated on the journey of life and business. Hey guys real quick if you know somebody whose life would be better or changed by listening to the show, would you partner with me in changing lives and share with them that or just rate leave a review, I appreciate it.

Well, anyways, guys, I want to talk about self improvement an alternative side other side of self improvement, which is self acceptance. So if you don’t have self acceptance, self improvement very much immediately turns into a very self destructive process. And What I mean by that is this, as your self improving, you normally end up having a list of things that you know, that you should do to improve yourself, whether it’s writing, reading, going to the gym, eating better, counting calories, exercising, whatever it’s going to be right, practicing giving in selflessness, practicing better, just better relationship skills, better soft skills, whatever that list is.

And if you don’t have self acceptance, that list simply becomes ammunition, to then tear ourselves down with like, Oh, I’m not doing What I know I should do. And then we start operating in this place of, well, I should do this, I should do this, I should do this. And we haven’t actually stopped and actually accepted who we are. We haven’t accepted who we were in the past the decisions that we made, we haven’t come to terms with those. And then we’re not accepting who we are currently in the present.

And if we’re not accepting who we are in the present, all we’re going to do is try and be the person that future who’s perfect that person 10 years from now, who’s made it, err, quoting, right? Who’s made it. And if you’re doing that, you’re always going to be driven by this, by this heart position of I’m never good enough. And if you really deeply believe that you’re never good enough, you’re not actually ever going to win, and you’ll never succeed, right? So, for instance, like cool, you’ve made poor decisions, there’s been decisions that you’ve made, sometimes you’ve had the right answer, and it’s just wrong time, wrong place for that answer. So it doesn’t work. And you’ve gone through life like this. And if you’re operating out of this place, I’m never good enough, then it, you’re really missing the reality of you’re not as bad as you think you are. And you’re not as great as you think you are. You’re not as bad as you believe yourself to be in terms of moving forward and having your life change and making those decisions. But you’re also not as great as you think you are when you have wins and successes.

And this all really comes from the side of not accepting yourself. So you get in this cycle of just really destruction towards yourself of I’m not doing this, I’m not doing this, right. And the reason why self acceptance is the other side of self improvement, you can’t have growth without either them, if you’re not going to accept who you are, in your small failures, you’re not going to be able to stop, learn and grow and change from the small failures, the same thing with the wins, you’re not gonna be able to accept your wins, you won’t be able to celebrate, you’re not going to be able to celebrate yourself, you won’t celebrate your team, you’re not going to be able to celebrate within the company. And then you’re just going to have this culture of nothing’s good enough, and you’re always moving on to the next piece, you’re always moving on to the next one.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. However, you should celebrate yourself for the things you’re doing. So another way to say this is you’re constantly either looking at all the crap, all the horrible stuff you’re doing, or you’re only looking at the good you’re doing. Because you’re not really accepting that you’ve got both in your life, you have failure and success, and that you’re not accepting that today is who you are today. That’s the man you are today, the woman you are today is who you are today. And now you just have decisions to move forward to become the person you need to be tomorrow. And if you don’t have self acceptance, self improvement, no longer is really self improvement, it often is a trap of self destruction. And we use all the things that we should do to hurt ourselves, tear ourselves down and then re validate a lot of lies and false beliefs that were worthless or not good for something or not good enough.

And you you can see where a lot of leaders have failed in this in a lot of people have failed in this to really self accept and accept that cool. They’ve got weaknesses, cool. They’ve got successes, right? Because you have some people who all they see is the crap. It’s never good enough. And you also have some people who, oh, everything’s great and fine and dandy, and nothing’s wrong, and both are really messed up. Because if you only have half the truth, you’ve only got half the truth, which means it’s a lie. Right? 90% Truth 10% fiction is lie and you have to have the whole picture about who you are. You have to have the whole picture about What you’re doing. And then you really have to choose to love the person that you are today. Cool. You’re not going to be anybody different than you. You can just be a better version of yourself if you want to.

Anyways guys that’s it so I’ll catch you later peace

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